At dinner Noah was devouring his food and staying really focused. This means he is tired. His eyelids started to get heavy and he nodded off a little. After the first big head-jerk he woke up, scowled at Logan (the nearest person) said, "Don't!" and whacked him on the arm. Repeat. So I picked him up and he flopped into me and was out for the night. I wish I knew what was going on in his mind - it seems like he didn't like nodding off/jerking awake and thought it was Logan's fault.
Everyone was sleepy at dinner, even though we ate a little early. They were all being so quiet so I started to ask them questions. I asked what they think their new baby brother will look like. Jessie thinks he will have dark hair like Daddy. Porter thinks he will be light-complected, like Noah. Logan thinks he will have big eyes like Porter's, but brown like his, with light skin like Noah.
While Jessie was brushing her teeth with the new battery-operated toothbrush Santa brought her, she pinched her nostrils shut. I asked her why she was doing that and she said, "Because my nose tickles when I brush my teeth with this toothbrush." I tried so hard to hold in the laughter, but the harder I tried the funnier the situation became. I don't know if she was just too tired or if she just thinks I'm crazy and is used to it, but she finished up totally unfazed by the giggle fit I was having all by myself.
I've been calling this baby Cody. When Noah was born we thought perhaps he was our last child. One night when I was rocking Noah to sleep I had an experience and I left that room knowing there was another boy that was meant for our family and his name was Cody. Time passed. I am more human-natured, figure-things-out-for-myself, forgetful, and worldly than I ought to be... and the sweet experience became an idea, a memory. A lot more time passed. We cleaned out the garage. I went through baby clothes. I wanted another baby. After church the next day Jared agreed we need to have another baby. Even more time passed. And one day I felt... weird. And grumpy. I told Jared, "I feel weird. Like sorta mad and tired and hungry and gross." Light bulb. I felt like this was a boy. It wasn't until I got my ultrasound and saw that yes, indeed, this fetus is growing into a tiny boy that I remembered the sweet experience I had a couple of years prior. And that has me wondering: what else have I forgotten? I really need to stop letting my brain do all of my thinking! You know in "Finding Nemo" when Dory says, "Something tells me we should swim through the trench, not over it." {SOMETHING} She couldn't remember who told her that or why, but SOMETHING inside of her knew it was the right thing to do even though it looked like the very wrong thing to do.
The Primary Theme this year is "I Am a Child of God." I haven't really thought much about it until recently I stumbled across something C.S. Lewis said, "You don't have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body." And that got me thinking: I really want the kids, particularly MY kids, to make that connection. They know they are children of God because God created the universe and everything that ever was/is/will be in it. But do they know that they are literally spirit-children of God? That their spirits, their souls, are made of the same stuff that God is made of? Our souls are indeed the something... the connection we share with Heavenly Father. And our souls aren't something we should just try to identify with, it is who we are!
Today is Wednesday, which means we had lunch at the boys' school today. Love Wednesdays. Love lunch. Love these souls. xoxo
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