Happy New Year

One of these years I'm going to go ahead and make a big deal about New Year's. We were all sick and went to bed like we would any other night. I know it sounds super boring, but that's what you do when you're kids fall asleep and your head and throat hurt. Tonight, some of us are feeling a little better.

I hear a thump, thump in Jessie's room. I go check on her.
"Oh, ha ha (forced, high-pitched), hi Mom!"
"Hello. Are you alright?"
"Oh, ha ha (forced, high-pitched), I'm fine! Just fine!"
"Good. What was that thump all about?"
"Well, I couldn't sleep so I'm doing somersaults on my bed until I fall asleep! Isn't that a good idea?"
"Hmm. How about just try laying still with your eyes closed?"
"Ohhhh - kaaaaaay. That usually works, anyways."

I don't sleep or exercise or clean as much as I should. But I am not "resolving" to do any of those things better this year. I just want to be more grateful in 2013. And I am so grateful to be a mother to these four (well... five) completely unique little souls! My heart already aches thinking about the day they will be gone and I can sleep, exercise, and clean any time I feel like it.

Taking down the Christmas stuff today and cleaning out the garage and reviewing our budget my thoughts kept repeating: "Why do I have all of this stuff? It's just stuff. I don't need all of this." Yet, I have a list of "new stuff" we need to get. Like new baseboards for the entire house and new window casings and oh yeah, a new backyard. I just bought new furniture. My walls are still empty in the front room, "What kind of STUFF can I put in here?!" And sometimes, it starts to feel like it's urgent, like we NEED to get this "done" (which translates to more stuff, sometimes). So, this year I want to be a whole lot better about navigating what is important (the "stuff" is NOT important), and I think it will be easier for me to do if I simply am more grateful for everything. For example, I need to be grateful that I need to reorganize my chore chart. See, that means the kids are getting more responsible and our new house is different and bigger and we have better ways to do things. I need to think this way instead of feeling bad that I haven't gotten around to this "stuff" yet. The kids and I are still doing chores, I just haven't made a new nifty chart. That part is the stuff... the gravy or jello or whatever and I spent way too much energy and time in 2012 on the stuff. Furthermore, I don't want my kids to get caught up in the "stuff" and they will if I am.

So, today I've really been trying to focus on being grateful. I have a horrible cold, accompanied by a headache and weird pregnancy cramps, so I am not feeling pleasant. The front room is a mess with Christmas boxes, Legos, and a bare tree. I think dinner is still on the table. But I am so thankful I was able to cook a delicious meal for my family tonight and we didn't have to resort to take-out. I am so thankful that Jessie can make me laugh even when it's past bedtime and my head is throbbing. I am so thankful Porter couldn't fall asleep until I tucked him in. I am so thankful Noah refused to let Jared put him to bed and snuggled on the couch with me, WITHOUT a binkie, and fell right asleep. I am so thankful that Logan repeats everything going on in the house to me like I can't see or hear anything. Sometimes I stop him because he's sort of interrupting someone else, but it's a quirky, sweet thing he does and I like that he's thinking of me. I am so thankful I can hear Jared working in the garage so I can park in there and that he bought himself a saw today (with gift cards he's been accumulating for years. Ah, there's another thing I'm thankful for. He finally went ahead and used his gift cards.). He hardly ever buys himself anything. I am so thankful I have a camera and I have pictures to upload on here sometime when I feel like it. Soon.